Thank Yous

Anne was recently at her son’s school and parents were asked to write thank you notes to all of the adults who support their kids on campus. Anne loves the post office, words, mail, notes, and books so this was sort of a gimme for her. She also noticed how it felt, actually in her body, to focus on what’s good – “better than looking to criticize,” she noted. 

We’ve all heard about the benefits of practicing gratitude and how neural pathways get carved out and reinforced by what we choose to pay attention to. I appreciate the sense of agency that attends choice, and the extent to which we can have some say in how we orient toward the world even when we can’t control it. That said, it can be tricky sometimes, at least for me, to think my way to something that feels different. 

Anne was asked to do more than think about who and for what she wanted to express thanks. She was asked to write, to actually put pen to paper, to involve more of herself than just her mind. I didn’t ask, but my guess is this took time, more time than it would have to think her thanks, or even to text or type her thanks. I wonder if the inefficiency or efficiency of our engagement with whatever or whoever directly correlates to the quality of that engagement? My instinct is that inefficiency necessarily creates space within which all sorts of things have a chance to develop– texture, depth, resonance, dimensionality, complexity. I might go so far as to say that inefficiency creates space for the messy business of being human.

So, I guess this is an invitation to poke around in moments of inconvenience and inefficiency, planned or unplanned, and see what might be growing there. Maybe start with a note card, a pen, and someone in mind. 

Xoxo Jill

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